One Month Old

It has been a month! I really can't believe it. I feel like ever since I had him time has just zoomed. I started noticing he was getting chunkier while David's parents were here and even though I am so glad he is healthy it makes me sad. One of the things that made me cry the most right after he was born and at the hospital was the thought of my tiny baby growing up. I also found myself becoming super anxious for the first week or so because I just did NOT want to miss ANYTHING. After giving a baby up for adoption missing out was what I was most worried about I had already missed out on one baby's life and now I want to make the most of his time with me. 

look at that round belly :) my little chubs

In the last month I have easily spent hours and hours just looking at him and holding him and of course crying. I'm not totally immune to being hormonal :) but most of the time it feels good to cry. Our house is full of clean laundry that needs to be folded and put away, dishes that are dirty, a full dishwasher of dishes that are clean, homework that remains unfinished and various other things that remain neglected, but who in their right mind would choose to do any of those things if they had a baby as cute and cuddly as little Davie hanging around. 

Sad little binky face, we have had a love hate relationship with this thing.

My thoughts about being a mom so far. Number one, I'm a Mom? Me? Really... wow! It might sound silly to some people but I felt like I have waited forever to be one and I have tried my best to truly enjoy every minute of it now that I am. This is mainly because of my experience with Colin. I feel like I appreciate things a lot more than the average person and because I am a little older I feel like for the most part I have been more patient. After all he is MY little baby. It's nearly impossible to complain about something that I have wanted my whole life. 

Davie is currently experiencing a pre-teen case of baby acne and it always makes me feel so sad for him. He still sleeps pretty good at night. I almost always get 3 hours in between feedings. This last week and a little the week before we went through some nursing issues that were more issues for me than for him. Can I just say I totally expected having to change poopy diapers that get on baby clothes, or clothes/ blankets with spit up but I never realized how UN-dry I would be because of breastfeeding. Now I know why so many moms struggle with getting dressed after they have a baby. Honestly staying in pajamas or scrub/ work out clothes really cuts down on my laundry. It might be time consuming and difficult at times but I enjoy nursing, it is very special to be that close to my baby. 

 He is starting to really look at us and I feel like I can slowly see him becoming self aware which is so fun. He is CONSTANTLY making little grunty noises most of the time I think it's because he has gas, which also makes me feel bad. I have no idea why he has it, he's had it since birth but I haven't hardly had the same food twice since he was born so I'm not sure it's related to my diet; at least not yet.

As far as my husband David goes he has been my saving grace on several days. On a few of my days that I have struggled he has literally been RIGHT there asking me what I want or need or what he can do to help. I can even quote him once as saying "When I changed Davie's diaper this morning it was kind of fun because it was like our own special time together". David has admitted that he isn't as into little babies as I am but I can tell that it's only because he wants Davie to be old enough to interact with him. David is so good with little kids and I can't wait to see him with our little Davie in the future. I sense lots of fun. Oh yeah and have I mentioned that none our neighbors have said anything about Davie yet? I'm still not convinced that they don't know. My theory is they know he is here (lets face it as good as he is he still cries) but they know there is nothing they can do about it. Either that or they are 100% less observant than I thought.