Check-in

So I have about 3 or 4 posts still for May, AND David and I have just finished traveling basically non-stop since Saturday morning at 5 am. That is a grand total of 36 hours in the car and (drum roll) 2,197 miles for our trip out West. Now some of you might be saying "wait it doesn't take that long to get to Idaho from Ohio," and to you smarty pantys I would say "you're right," with a big grin on my face. I promise to blog all about it, trust me it's going to be good :) so there is my "check-in" post for all y'all.

Third Wheel Temple Trip

Lovely Detroit Temple

Sometime during the beginning of May David and I tentatively planned a trip with our friends to the Detroit temple on the 13th. David and I managed to get there once before this planned trip and it was a good thing because by the time our group trip came around he was 100% submerged into his "I MUST STUDY" mode. Poor boy, but David being the way he is insisted that I go anyways, love him. It was great fun and the weather for the first time ever was not (I repeat, NOT) rainy. In fact we went to a 6:30 session and were still able to take these pictures when we were done! Beautiful day at the temple. Not to mention we all went to Panera, my new favorite place, tasty, tasty, tasty!

Dannielle and Tyler so cute

There they are again :)

Us, we love the temple

We are Vana-White-ing the sign. If you don't know who Vana White is look it up.

The next evening was the adult session of stake conference and we all managed to get there early enough to sit on the soft seats. Such a good session, I'm so glad David and I made it a priority to go. Afterwards we went to our house and had frozen turtle pie, which was AMAZING. It was on sale at Wal*Mart for like $5 and I figured the next time we had people over we could try it. I have the BEST ideas! We didn't have time to play any games but it was fun to talk and eat some super tasty frozen pie. While we were talking David asked Tyler how the temple trip was and he said "it was good, but I wish you had been there, I was kind of the third wheel." Haha, that made me laugh because seeing how I went with a married couple I assumed I was the third wheel, but Dannielle and I love to talk so he is probably right.

Almost Sunny for a BBQ

This post is only a week old! I am catching up. Two Saturday mornings ago we went to our friend’s house. All the men played a computer game and the ladies chilled out and eventually went to the park. What a beautiful day it was! It was perfectly warm just a slight breeze and it was very sunny. Since I was the only one there without kids I helped herd all the little ones to the park. It was a great morning. After David got some of his game on with his friends and the ladies came back from the park we went home.

On our way home we ate at Panera, which I have recently decided it is right up there with Chipotle in my book. I LOVE their soups and salads, yummy, yummy, yummy! After David and I went home chilled out for a bit and then got ready to go to a BBQ with our other friends. You see we are really popular, so much so that we can say we have at least 2 sets of friends. By the time we finally got everything ready and headed out the door, it was cloudy outside. The BBQ was almost a sunny one, but it was still fun inside.

All the boys, take one!

All the boys, take two!

Take three... I give up. But I do love how all the men are smiling nicely until David finally smiles nicely and then they are makin' kinda silly faces too.

Our friends Lindsey and Brandon, they are finishing up their second year at Toledo Medical school

Jessica and Adrian are finishing up their third year.

Then there is us, the little first years, soon to be second. The other day I was with a group of ladies and I teasingly and called David a baby-doctor, as in he is just starting and everyone looked at me like I meant he was a baby Doctor, as in he delivers babies or is a pediatrician. Haha I though it was kind of funny but everyone else made me feel awkward about it. I guess I should think before I speak, maybe next time.

The Ladies

David shuffling the Uno cards

And me, I don't really like this picture because I look chubby. That bugs me because I have recently lost 8 pounds so I don't want to look chubby. I guess that just goes along with having a baby face.

Dooo Whop

I'm almost not behind. A couple of weeks ago David had his last Docapella concert. Here are some pictures and lower down you can watch the songs they sang. The room they sang in had great accuostics but the recording did NOT capture them very well, but they are still worth watching. Hope you like!

I'm glad that David is starting to relax, and he even did some of the actions in some of the songs! Way to get out of your comfort zone David :)

This Love, by Maroon 5

Slide, by the Goo Goo Dolls. This one was one of my favorites.

This is the Women's group of medical students called Vocal Remedy. Typically I'm pretty bias towards Docapella, but I thought they did an EXCELLENT job on this song, LOVED it! Killing Me Softly, by the Fugees.

Kiss the Girl, from The Little Mermaid. Make sure you watch the guy on the far left side. The funny part about the girls blowing bubbles on them in this song is that the men did it to them earlier while they sang Under the Sea, they were just keeping the score even.

This is their tribute to the 4th year in their goup who is moving on to his internship. It was so funny, I laughed lots.

I'm a Believer- Shrek. In this song David actually acted some things out! He wanted to make sure I posted this one because it was his favorite. Also the guy who is singing it IS actually pointing at his wife, so that is pretty darn cute.

I am posting this one for my Mama because she loves this song. Also this is kind of one of Docapella's main songs.Africa- Toto

Yup, I love this guy.

Happy Mother's Day

This is my OFFICIAL Mother's Day post. I love my Mom, and I am very thankful for David's. They both very strong ladies and great examples.

Me and my Mommy

Other Mother's I love include, my Grandma Christiansen, Great-Grandma Hazel and Grandma Pink. I am so thankful for their love and examples in my life. I feel truly blessed to be around so many great women.

Grandma Chris and I right after Jordan was born. She came to help with the new baby.

Grandma Pink and I at the Cincinati Zoo. Mom and I went to Ohio for my 3rd Birthday.

Great Grandma Hazel, the perfect little lady.

And now for my Mother's Day present-

The cutest little boy ever!

 Easter basket

He is getting so big! It's sad because he is starting to look less like a baby and more like a little boy. Haha and as my Mom would some times say (teasingly) "time to have another one". But not yet :)

Blog Therapy

I was going to title this post “Mother’s Day Blog Therapy” but I was afraid I might sound to upset or bitter. So instead this is just me using my blog as therapy. What to say about Mother's Day, or rather what isn't there to say. It's a day that I have always loved, because I was raised by a rather terrific Mother myself, who some how did the impossible of being my friend and parent throughout my entire life (including the teen years, impressive I know). However, over the past three years it has become a day of extremely mixed emotions for me. Living here in Toledo also creates another interesting aspect of the day for me.

So having said all that I'll now say this, I have grown up a lot in the last three years, A LOT. And yet the last two years on Mother's Day I wake up and I think "No big". Then I go to church I just feel miserable. Here in Toledo was worse than in Idaho because there everyone knows my story (are you beginning to see the double edged sword?). It is nice to feel like everyone here doesn't know EVERYTHING about me but at the same time I HATE, make sure you get that HATE, being clumped into the "newly wed/ baby-adult" category. I am a Mom, and will be even more so in the future, it’s just complicated.

I know that no one here knows they do it but it still really bothers me. I also struggle when ladies start talking to me about their kid as if I know nothing about kids and Colin is older than their boy/ or girl they are telling me about. I have to make sure I put lots of disclaimers on this post, my previous statement isn't to say I know what raising a kid is truly like BUT I just wish I could feel more involved in the conversation without telling them my life story. Typically it's not worth saying "oh ya, I got divorced while I was pregnant so I decided to give my baby up for adoption" just to be included in a conversation about pregnancy (which you ladies LOVE), but I HATE acting or feeling like I'm just some little newly wed, who hasn't been through "tough" times yet. No I haven't worked my husband through medical  school yet, no we haven't been married a year yet and yes I don't have personal experience of raising my own kid, but I'm no kindergartener either.

I have given this analogy to several people and I feel like it's the best way to describe how I feel. Suppose you did two years of school and it was REALLY tough, and then you HAD to change your major and start all over. I feel like this is my 3rd almost 4th year of school but because of changing my major I'm getting stuck with the freshman again. David’s undergrad is a degree that can take up to 6 years to get and he got it in 4 years. He graduated as a single guy from BYU, that is tough stuff, but he learned to be very patient and diligent. He still has his moments but for the most part he is VERY mature. We essentially never fight, and not because we are in the “honeymoon phase” it’s because we just get along. I’ve learned to chill out a little (a little) and he is calm enough to help me through my struggles. So when others think about how long the two of us have been together and judge our relationship on time, ya it bugs me.

  

Now that I have vented, a couple of times, I’ll move on to the more specific topic of Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is just going to be a struggle until I have my own kid. I have not ever regretted my decision to give Colin up, he is so happy and so am I, but I still get sad. The best example I have is this- I have wanted to be a Mom since I was very little. The one thing I always, ALWAYS, always knew I wanted was a family. I didn’t however know whether I wanted to go to college or Beauty school or what career I wanted, but I always knew I wanted to have kids.  I know I have said similar type things before but it is true. Watching all my friends, acquaintances and family members have kids before me is exasperatingly painful. Especially when they are younger than me or I can remember them acting like they weren’t sure if they wanted to have kids, or very many, or they acted like they would rather have a career.

Giving a baby up for adoption is like losing a baby. You know they are in a better place and that they are loved and being taken care of but all you can do is imagine what they are really like. You miss them, all the time. And you only remember them the way they were when you had to say good-bye. I had someone share that with me right after I gave up Colin and it made me feel better. Sometimes it is so hard to put into words how I feel/ felt and that hit it right on.

 Thank you Meagan Baxter for what you said on my Truth post a couple of months ago our babies are a part of us and there really is an instant unconditional love that every mother feels. That is so true. I think about Colin everyday and I love him so much. The number one positive thing this whole experience has taught me is that our Heavenly Father loves us beyond anything we can imagine! There is no way our Heavenly Father could love me or anyone else any less than a mother loves her baby. I am so thankful to have that knowledge and to have had such a wonderful mother myself. I also hope that all of you who read this who have your own babies will make sure you give them an extra hug or kiss for all the Moms out there who have been through what I have been through or have lost a baby. Hopefully I haven’t upset anyone. I only hope that we can all learn to be more sensitive to our fellow ladies because we never know what they are going through or have been through.

This post was a load off my shoulders.

Not Very Easter

This year we basically did nothing for Easter, except go to church on Easter Sunday. It was nice to feel the spirit and talk about our Savior. I was definitely sprititually fed. I'd love to be the kind of person who can bear their testimony well through the written word but I'm not, I'll save that for fast Sundays and the church leaders. But I will say that I know our Savior died for us, was reserected, and that he lives now and loves us. Jesus Christ truly does make our burdens light. This is my most favorite picture of our Savior. I think I liked it when I was younger because it has lots of soft pink and blue. As I have gotten older I feel that this picture most properly depicts our Savior, his arms are always open.

One fun thing I did was go out and buy some candy (after Easter) for David, gotta love $0.32 peeps! On a sad note I didn't manage to find the Milky Way eggs he likes but instead I got him some Sponge Bob gummy crabby pattys.

 On a more random note we had a Russell Stover bunny and on the back for serving sizes it reffered to one serving as 1/5 a bunny, haha we're pretty sure you aren't going to find that on very many serving size labels. David is the one who found it, sometimes I think he gets paid to notice this randomsess because he always finds the most random things! Or maybe I should just read more? That is another story. 

Popcorn Popping

A couple of weeks ago while driving home from taking David to school I realized all the trees were in bloom! It is so beautiful here in the spring, especially now that we actually get to see the sun :) As it turns out I really like the sun. The last couple of weeks the weather has been so temperate, never hotter than 75ish and not too much lower than 45. Typically it's 65-75 throughout the day with a nice light breeze...  its wonderful walking and being outside period kind of weather.

 Trees on the medical school campus

There are were also lots of BEAUTIFUL BIG pink magnolia flower trees

This is not a picture I took. I really wanted to take one with David or I in front of it but the ones I could see were all in people's yards.... so that would have made it a little awkward.

This is David's school.

This is the same week I got doughnuts instead of just picking up milk, I'm a little behind, sorry. The other day I was at our local fresh fruits/ vegetable store here in Toledo and as I was picking out food I realized it felt like home. The funny part is Toledo has felt like home for a while now but it was the first time I consciously thought it. It's nice to be comfortable here and know that when we go out to Idaho we are only visiting until we go home. As Winnie the Pooh says "home is where your honey is," and for me that is with my David.

More to come I promise :)