Dominated

Not to brag but I officially got my final grades for my first full time semester at college and well I dominated! I am so excited!!! I can't say my classes were super difficult (except for math, I spent almost an entire 24 hours in the math lab this semester and I'm actually pretty proud to be able to say that) but they did keep me busy on top of baby preparing and Young Women activities. Now the new challenge for next semester is can I live through it with a baby?!?!?! That is the question.

I took a picture of this on my phone so it's a little small. I think this is the first 4.0 for an entire grade period (i.e. 4.0 as a final GPA) I have ever had; well minus beauty school. 

35 weeks

Yup, that is today (Sunday). This means I only have 5 weeks left... well until my due date but unless my doctor won't induce me I don't plan on waiting that long :) I am NOT that patient. My ultimate birthday goal for this baby is January 12th, if I have baby on that day then it will be exactly 6 months from mine on June 12th, 7 months from David and I's anniversary on July 12th and 9 months from my Mama's birthday; the 12th is kinda a big deal. Also the 12th would be a cool birthday, 01-12-2012. My better judgement says I'll probably have this baby about the same earliness as I had Colin so more realistically I'm thinking either the 16th or 18th, it just depends on how willing my doctor is. All of the ladies who were within a month or two of me are basically done and having their babies and I am SOOO jealous. 

I have gained about the same amount of weight as last time (I was hoping to gain less) but I do feel like I look better this time. I think it is much more in the midsection this time too. Last time my winter coat fit around the belly until I was 9 months + pregnant and this time I am already struggling to zip it up. Honestly I had been wearing David's coats because they are baggy enough that if I were to see one of our neighbors they probably wouldn't notice the baby belly.

Does anyone remember me telling you that dogs, cats and children are NOT ALLOWED in our condo building? Well thus far not a single soul in our building has figured out I am pregnant. I believe the reasons for this are as follows

#1- We don't see our neighbors, and when we do I'm in a coat or in the car, very much in passing.

#2- When we do see our neighbors (once a week or less) there isn't a lot of friendly chit chat, more like awkward hellos it's almost like an "oh yea other people live here too" moment for them.

#3- I wear David's coat and we avoid bringing baby stuff in unless it's dark outside haha.

I wouldn't be totally shocked to find out that some people have figured out I'm pregnant and have just not said anything, mainly because there isn't anything they can do. Since the condo association created thier bylaws for the building in 1987 the fair housing act was passed which means we have every right to live here baby or not. David's and I's new goal is now to try and make it home with baby before anyone realizes it! Haha wouldn't that be funny? Since our families are coming right after we have our baby the neighbors might think the baby is visiting. Plus if they really didn't ever find out I was pregnant they won't think it's mine because as far as they know I wasn't ever pregnant. 

Lately I have found myself enjoying other blogs about ladies that are about my age who have lost a baby. I think the reasoning is because even though I can't seem to connect to what is happening to me now I still feel very tender towards what happened with Colin. Not how things are now just the fact that I had to go through it in the first place. It's very much a feeling of having been robbed. While I was pregnant with Colin I knew there was no other way to get around my situation and so I had to just live through every awful day. It's funny because I don't have a single picture of me with him or while I was pregnant with him where I am crying but looking back or reading my journal I know that was all I ever did; for months. My biggest defense last time was to just try and dull my senses so that I could make it through the day and sadly I find myself doing that now too. I wish I could just be more excited but I just think there is a part of me who won't be able to let go until I take this baby home. I haven't been an emotional wreck like a lot of pregnant woman are but I keep warning David that I think the water works will turn on full blast the day we take this kid home. 

The other day I watched "The Business of Being Born" and I was surprised how much I cried, EVERY TIME the women in the documentary held their babies for the first time, I cried. I feel like that is the moment I am making myself wait for, its that part of my subconscious that won't let me celebrate until it knows I'm safe. Also if you haven't watched "The Business of Being Born" check it out on Netflix, it's a little graphic but that's birth for ya. It had some really interesting factoids and such in it. I have never been opposed to the idea of having a baby naturally but it is a lot to commit to. After watching it I decided that I think having at least one of my babies naturally is definitely a bucket list goal for me. Last time was obvious why I didn't want to go O-Natural and this time... well I just want to be able to enjoy myself as thoroughly as possible, and if that means I want an epidural, then I am going to have one.

Baby's Crib

Anyways enough about me lets talk baby stuff! I had my baby shower a couple of weeks ago with some of the ladies here and I took zero pictures, sorry Jess. I had every intention, I brought my camera fully charged had it out & ready to roll and then I didn't take a single picture. I got the regular baby supplies you usually get at a shower and some cute little onsies. I need to take some pictures of the super cute clothes I have slowly been accumulating. Kohl's sent us another $10 off coupon so I used that the other day, only this time I literally spent NOTHING: thank you Kohl's and I still hate you. Our crib now has a mattress and sheets. The other day after setting the mattress in the crib David looked at me and said "You could actually put a baby in there and it could go to sleep," haha I was actually thinking almost the exact same thing; great minds think alike!

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BLOKUS

I have several pages of games on my iPhone, mostly from David and his Dad :) but I only have one folder with about 6 games in it that I actually play on a regular basis. Our friends Dannielle and Tyler introduced us to Blokus around January of last year while we were at their house playing games (AKA- Dancing Sheep Night). We decided we really liked it.

This summer David found Blokus on sale for .99 cents at the app store and so of course we got it. I have been playing this game a LOT since then, not as much as I have played bejeweled blitz but this game takes longer than a minute to finish so that is one reason why. Anyways the other day I FINALLY managed to defeat the game! I placed all my puzzle pieces and I placed my single square last, I was so happy I took a picture; go on and check it out...

David did this like the second time we played! Little stinker, I figure it took me less than a year from the time he did it so it's still a success, haha!

The Nutcracker

We did it! I finally made it to the Nutcracker. It was the first time I had been since about 2002? give or take? This was one of the first performances of The Nutcracker I have been to that had no dialogue. It makes sense because it's a ballet but most of the ones I have been to in the past had a script, which does make it a little more entertaining. It was worth it though and now we can say we have attended The Nutcracker here in Toledo. 

The pretty decorations and chandeliers. 

Us

& there he is the Nutcracker himself in life-size.

(thanks to my aunt for my purple blouse; LOVE it!)

Picture with my phone. Getting ready to watch the show.

Picture with the camera. This one is definitely more clear and less grainy but it always adds 10+ to my face and I dislike it.

A horrible picture of the ballet taken on my phone because it looked better than the one I took with my camera. Don't let this picture fool you though we had awesome seats on the isle, which was great for David's long legs. At one point during the show David turned to me and said "if we have a little girl will you want her to do this kind of stuff?" and of course I said yes. He then went on to tell me that as he had been watching the show he thought it would be fun and special to have our little girl be in ballet and be able to go to her performances. So cute :)

Lately

I can finally relate to all my friends and family who are constantly talking about how life will start once their (and their spouse's) semester ends. This last week I spent an enormous amount of time trying to type up a research paper for my film class. I have never struggled to get words on the page like that! As you all have noticed I am a talker and when it comes to writing papers the amount of words that come out of my little head is no different, so this paper was very difficult for me. I went to the writing lab, my mom got to listen to it and help (I'm sure she was just dying to do that :) and then I went to the writing center again.

The second trip was an absolute waste of my time, the girl assigned to help me was so useless! (did I mention she was also late?) The first time I went the gal chatted with me helped me brainstorm and basically just helped me get some confidence that I was on the right path. My second appointment the writing center aide basically told me EVERYTHING I already knew, wouldn't help with proofreading, oh and said she wasn't really sure what the point of my paper was... wha?? I knew I needed serious help with organization/ flow of my paper but the point was super clear, almost to redundancy and that's why I was there to make sure it wasn't getting to repetitive. 

ANYWAYS I managed to get it completely written it just took a lot longer than usual. I have a powerpoint presentation for my Health communications class and a comprehensive Math final and David has his last test next Friday. Friday can also be referred to as when our Christmas season officially begins. We don't even have our Christmas tree up yet :( BUT we have a crib in the nursery and a mattress for it! As soon as I can get that room a little more organized I PROMISE to take a picture we have been making SLOW but steady progress. This week we had our first Birth, Babies and More class at the hospital, it was so nice to be able to go with David, I love him so much. We had to leave early because that was also the night of my baby shower which went well and I got some more cute stuff. I'll have to take pictures of all this cute stuff that has slowly been accumulating at our house.          

Guess what this is? A pile of thank you's to all of the ladies who attended or brought a gift to my baby shower this summer. Haha I feel so bad it has taken me this long to send them out but I am also super paranoid that I might have forgotten someone. If I did and you are that someone it has nothing to do with whether or not I am thankful! I just have no brain and what little I do have is being consumed by school. Hopefully the ladies here in Toledo won't find me too lame when I hand deliver my thank you's. I hate sending thank you notes in the mail it takes me twice as long!

Yesterday was our ward party and we only went because I was told by my friend Lindsay about 2 hours before haha. I felt bad because we were supposed to bring food and we didn't, my only defense is we try our best to bring something most of the time. If you think about it we almost didn't even bring ourselves. It was sad because we had to leave early so David could study some more which means I have no pictures. Oh and tonight we are going to see the Nutcracker and I am SOOOOO EXCITED!!! (There are lots of caps in this post sorry I just don't know how else to add emphasis to what I am saying) And that is what has been happening lately. 

Ice Skating

On Sunday we were able to attend an Alumni activity here in Toledo, go ice skating and have pizza for FREE! This was an activity I tried to do in vain last year and failed (just not enough time) that is two activities this year that we were NOT able to do together  last year (looking at the nativities and ice skating), yay! We're on a roll. However I have a sneaking suspicion that our Christmas decorations will not be going up until the 16th of December, also known as the day the semester ends, and last year we had our tree up already. Oh well, you win some you lose some, am I right? 

Yummy pizza

I think that means he likes it

The skates we rented were not very good and did not have sufficient ankle support so I didn't skate as much as I would have liked. Bad skates + added baby weight + I have really skinny weak little ankles = I only went around the rink a couple of times. BUT it was worth it and fun to get out of the house and be together. 

There goes David!

Representing the med school 

Haha and this is me watching him from the stands.

Yesterday was a double day because after ice skating we got to come home and watch the Christmas devotional. 

Oh and it's snowing outside RIGHT now!! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in Toledo :)

Days of Christmas

Last year I decided to try and do a 25 days of Christmas challenge. This year I have decided to do what I call "Days of Christmas, " basically it is an easier way of still trying to get come Christmas activities in without feeling pressured into doing it everyday. This was our first activity

I don't know why but I really liked the card board ones

My family (I think) still has this one! I remember putting it up every year

This was the ugliest, haha obviously I'm NOT a fan of modern art.

This one was so cute with all the little Indians

LOVE Snoopy, this picture is mostly for my Dad :)

visiting our stake center to look at all the nativity sets! I always like this activity over the years and it is one that I hope will be easy to take a small child to. I could be totally wrong but kids love to look at stuff so it seems like an easier one to try with a little guy or gal. David and I both were thinking about how this time next year we will have an almost 1 year old... crazy!! 

Let the Christmas stuff begin!

Also I was pretty proud of myself for getting all nice to go out in public...

...it's been a while haha

Day#30- Colin

Being thankful for Colin will always be a double edged sword. I will never really be thankful that I have been through a divorce or that I feel like I lost 2 years of my life or that I lost a piece of me, but no matter what I will always love this little boy. Whenever his Mama writes on her blog about him or writes me updates it brightens my day. I have decided to look at him and the experience that goes along with him as an accomplishment. It isn't' the kind of achievement that anyone ever plans to have but now that I have had the experience he is a great source of pride for me. It was difficult to see it that way while it was happening but now I feel like if ANY one wants to question what kind of person I am they can use that as an example. It's amazing how long it's taken me to feel this way but now that I do it is both liberating and gratifying. Now because he is so cute I'll share some of my favorite pictures :)

I think the doggy door pictures are some of my favorites

just hanging around

I am a day late finishing up all of my thankful posts but I have to say it was pretty fun. I really enjoyed thinking of things to write about for everyday. I feel even more grateful than I did when I started. 

Day #29- Modern Comforts

This post is about more than one thing because I didn't want to give these little things their own post. Some of the little modern comforts that I am so thankful for are as follows in no particular order- scentsy stuff,

Bath & Body Works wall flowers, heating pads/ blankets, air-conditioning, heating that we can turn up whenever without chopping wood, TV (mostly Netflix), my cocoa maker (especially in the winter time), and lastly being able to eat out. These are all things that make my life enjoyable and fun but are not needs at all. As much as I love to be cool in the summer and extra warm in the winter I know the level of comfort I enjoy is above and beyond meeting my basic needs. There are a million more things I could add to this list but I won't. 

Day #28- Temple

I am thankful for the temple. David and I haven't been able to go since we went to Lauren and Mike's wedding in August! We seriously just haven't been able to make it and the several times we could have the Detroit temple wasn't open. Sometimes living by a smaller temple that isn't open as long or as often can be frustrating but we try our best. Also even though I think this goes without saying, I am so thankful David and I are married in the temple. 

Day #27- Family

Ok so in the last year that David and I have been married I have greatly widened my family circle, to include some totally awesome new relatives. I am so thankful just about everyday that David's family is as awesome as they are. So much fun!

Obviously these pictures barely scratch the surface of all the awesome family pictures I have, but I think you can see how much fun we have all the same.