Violet's Planned Entrance

Way before I scheduled to get induced with Violet I knew that I wanted to if it was possible. My family was coming the night before my official due date and they actually ended up arriving so late it was my due date. And while them being here meant that they could have helped with my kids while I was in the hospital I wanted to be out of the hospital by the time they got to Florida. So at 38 weeks my doctor let me set my induction day for the 8th. As long as I had made some progress my appointment would be good. When I went in the next week I had made progress, 1 to a 3, and the doctor told me he could even take me THAT day. It's funny because this baby I feel like I have been the least prepared with. On top of just getting tired and falling behind I've had my other two babies to take care of and I found myself randomly spoiling them with lots of my attention. No regrets. Especially with Macy. Anyways when my doctor offered to let me go in the day before my scheduled induction David and I both were just like "uhh, no". It was only a days difference but neither of us were ready. If that had been Davie or Macy we would have easily said yes. I think the whole "having other children (plural) and adding another one" has been slowly sinking in. We left knowing that we would be coming back at 6:00 am the next morning.

I'd like to say I went home and got a whole bunch of things done but I didn't. I caught up on a couple of chores, exchanged/bought a couple of last minute baby items, played with the kids but mostly hung around. I wanted to make myself busy but I just couldn't. I wasn't apprehensive or nervous or even super excited, I think it was sinking in pretty slowly. Since Violet was due to be induced the day before her Daddy's birthday I went out and picked up his favorite ice cream for him (he hates cake). David has been working 12-9pm so by the time he got home the kids were asleep. We watched a show ate some ice cream and went to bed. Later than we should have of course.

We were up at 5:00 am in order to get ourselves ready and the kiddies. We had a wonderful family in the ward who volunteered their help and I'm so glad they did. David doesn't accept help very well, he's great at giving it but not so great at receiving and this family made sure we let them help by calling and asking times and dates. We were late by the time we got on the road (of course). Davie went to bed late, wet his bed in the middle of the night AND woke up about the same time we did... for no reason at all. I was worried he was going to be awful but it sounds like he and the other kids had LOTS of fun which was a relief to me. When we got to the house to drop the kids off Davie practically ran in, he loves new people and places (you could say he loves nouns really haha). I was a little worried about Macy, she can randomly get sad when we drop her off places, sometimes it's genuine sometimes it's just for show. Surprisingly even with a great big doggy to greet her she went right in. As we drove away I actually started to cry a little. I don't usually do that. I just got started thinking about how big she was and how much I loved her and of course how happy I was that she didn't get upset when we left. Oh motherhood, there's always some tears from someone.

Macy watching Frozen at our friends house holding Anna and Elsa

When we got to the hospital I started with all my paperwork, there sure is a lot of paperwork to have a baby! By the time I signed my life away and my 3rd born and they finally got me all hooked up, water broken (this dr had GREAT technique btw it literally didn't hurt at all other times not so much, owie) and started pitocin it was probably about 9:00 am.

feeling ok at 9:16 am

 Two funny side notes there are 3 doctors in the OBGYN place I go to one did residency in Toledo AND worked with the guy who delivered Davie (small world) and I had never had an appointment with one of the ladies... haha and guess who was on call to deliver my baby :D the one I'd never met. She was great though very nice and like I said great water breaking technique. The nurse had to do my IV two time so that sucked, putting in the IV is the worst. 

It freaking HURTS and then it's itchy and hurty every second afterwards until they take it out. Hate, hate, hate it.

This is my arm 5 days after I delivered! And that doesn't do it justice. Painful :(

I'm going to admit right now that I didn't watch the clock as much this time around. But I did get to watch HGTV all day which was a great distraction and a family member blogged so I got to read that. I napped a little (like a tiny little bit) and around 11 or noon is when I started to feel uncomfortable. I don't understand how some women like to use birthing balls or walking around. I can barely breath through my really tough contractions not to mention bounce (ouch) on a ball or move around. I think the most annoying part was how much I had to got to the bathroom with the machine hooked up to me.

David relaxing while I do all the work! :P

I'll admit by noon I was hoping I would have made more progress I think I was at a 4cm. It was much slower than Colin or Macy who came naturally and more than Davie who I was only on a 2 drip of pitocin before he was born. One thing David and I noticed was that my nurse slowly turned up my pitocin, which is protocol, then after that she turned it down and up but never above 12 (20 is the max dose). I've never had a nurse do that before, but I was glad she didn't just keep cranking it up. So I kept telling myself I was going to wait to ask for the Nubain, right after I had another contraction and went pee one more time. I did that for at least an hour or two. I can't even remember what time it was when I finally got some pain killer but it was Stadol not Nubain. I'm going to be honest, I hated it this time. Maybe it was the higher pitocin drip, the fact that I'd already been in labor longer than the last time I'd had it with Davie, that I was already tired, or that it was just a slightly different drug, but it was awful. It made my eyes sooo heavy I literally could not keep them open and it did relax my body, but it made the contractions worse! It was amplifying how awful my contractions were compared to my little in between moments of non-contractions. This is also when my labor picked up a lot. I kept trying to breath my way through but I was groggy and felt completely out of control. Again I kept waiting in hopes that I would progress and be closer to finishing/pushing. Because I was groggy the time frame during all this is completely lost on me. It was just a blur of ridiculous pain followed by feeling heavier than a brick and completely asleep.

Not feeling so good at 4:18 pm

I have decided that each time I have a baby that I'll decide if I want an epidural or not during labor. It's never going to be an absolute either way. Every labor is different, every pregnancy and so far every time I've had a baby it's been at a different hospital in 3 different states. So there's enough variables I think that's a reasonable way to look at it. If you are still reading this, wow, sorry about being so wordy, but this is also where it gets interesting.

 Lady Violet's birth story is definitely one that I am going to tease is my most Hollywood birth story. My explanation of that is how going into labor is in the movies. I detest how birth is depicted in the movies a woman will just randomly have a contraction all the sudden it's time to go to the hospital and she's screaming and yelling OR her water breaks and that's totally not how it happens. Not to say that people's water doesn't break but not to very many people and you definitely don't have one contraction and all the sudden know you need to go to the hospital. Or the wife freaks out and yells at her husband and says she hates him. Those things didn't happen to me but as I tell my story I'll refer back to this and you'll know what I'm talking about.

I think it was after 4pm when I finally broke down and begged for an epidural. My contractions were making me feel like my midsection was going to explode. No pun intended. They say pitocin makes that worse BUT, when I was at an 8 with Macy it was pretty stinkin' bad so if it did actually make it worse it wasn't that much different. My eyes were finally a little less heavy and I was starting to get loud when I had contractions. That was embarrassing for me. I don't like losing my composure especially in public and I pretty much never do. The nurse had noticed how quickly things were going and set up for an epidural before I even asked. Again I don't remember this part that well but my contractions were close now and so the epidural had to be done between them. It never kicked it the way it has before because during the process of getting it I went from contractions to wow I need to push. And some where in all my moaning and basically screaming I swore! Haha, I said the "D" word. And then after the epidural was finished I had another huge need to push and I said I was in hell. Haha not dramatic at all right?! Sprinkle in some more very loud screams, as in louder than I have ever been before, and that's how transition went this time around. Easy peasy.

They were actually telling me not to push because the doctor hadn't come back! I had again gone from about 5 cm to practically complete in about 15 min or less. It was very similar to pushing with Davie even with the epidural and David said that the anesthesiologist gave me an extra dose before she left. By the time I got it I think I had maybe 10 minutes (or less) of labor left, but of course I didn't know that at the time. After waiting all day and feeling like it had gone so slow compared to how it had before that I didn't realize how close I was to Violet being born! It took about 4 huge pushes but that was it! It was the same shocked feeling I had after Davie. The pushing aways seems to just whiz right by when it's over (haha if that makes sense). Violet had the cord wrapped around her neck but shortly after they cut it off I could hear her soft muffled little cries.

Only 37 minutes after the last picture, Violet is here!! 4:54 pm

 It wasn't until we were sitting in the hospital that morning that I wondered if she was going to be smaller than my other babies. When they set her on me I couldn't believe how tiny she was! And how much hair she had. She was also my most waxy :) they had to wipe her down quite a bit. Then they weighed her- 6 pounds even! I had been right. Even though I gained more and my hands, fingers, feet and toes were puffier than ever before she was almost a pound smaller than Davie. And absolutely perfect.

So much hair!

Just a tiny little gal

Brand new!

tiny toes

So even with an epidural I pretty much did 95% (or more) of this delivery on my own. Part of me wishes I hadn't of asked for it because I was so far along that it really didn't help (at all!) and it costs so much. Thank goodness for insurance. The other part of me wishes I had just asked sooner and not even had the Stadol because it too was a waste of money. Oh drugs, it's so hard to decide on whether you want them and then they don't always work fast enough or the way you want. Of course none of that matters now because she is here and perfect and I would do it all over again. 

Daddy and daughter

PG 4

This is me today. 38 weeks and counting.
I feel like every time I'm pregnant it gets that much harder to wrap my mind around what pregnancy it is. This is my 4th pregnancy, but I only have 2 kids and when she gets here I'll only have 3. Sometimes I tease and say this is baby 3/4ths. I guess in a lot of ways I keep thinking that it will get easier to... understand... accept... I don't know but it's it's still a little weird and frustrating (if I'm being honest). I don't know if I'm saying that right because it's not a clear feeling or feelings and they come and go but hopefully that makes some sense.

I can't act like I have difficult pregnancies however this time and last time the last 10 weeks or so I've struggled with pelvic bone pain. Both my doctors have said it's because I carry low so there's a lot of pressure.  It's embarrassing because it literally makes me feel like an old lady. Even though I've gained more weight this time and last time when I need help getting up its because my bones hurt. It's weird to roll over at night and suddenly be in tons of pain and have to roll over extra slow like I'm a cripple. My waddle also has very little to do with my size and everything to do with bone pain. It's pretty cute to have a pregnancy/cripple waddle before age 30, trust me :) That's when I get most frustrated about having had more pregnancies than babies. My first two pregnancies were bone pain free, I just wish that the non-pain would have lasted more than two times. I'm hoping it will go away as soon as I have the baby like it did with Macy, fingers crossed! 

Other than that I'm all fluffy (like my fingers, toes and feet) and my fatigue has come back, but really just pregnancy life as normal. This picture is proof and it weirds me out. I normally have boney ankles and feet (thank you mom) so to not be able to see my ankles is just super weird to me. Did I mention that I kind of also hate feet? They are just kind of gross so to see my own feet look all bloated is extra yucky.

Along with extra weight gain I have come to the conclusion that since I live in Florida and we have a pool in our neighborhood I am spending time in the sun. Not a lot almost literally the daily recommended amount (15-20 minutes). I figure if I can't tone it ("it" meaning my ginormous pregnant self) I'll tan it. I feel like it's been really nice to dedicate time as often as possible to be in the sun. It does a body good. I figure if I have to spend the rest of the hot summer all fluffy post baby the least I could do is not be pasty white haha.

This week I'm 38 weeks along and it was only two days ago I actually pull out the little baby girl clothes and start washing them so they could be ready. And JUST today I finally ordered a bassinet. True story. With Davie we used our pack'n'play (which was just too big to have on the side of my bed) and with Macy we were able to borrow a bassinet so we've never actually owned one.

I've managed to take both kids to my doctors appointments the last 3 to 4 weeks. While taking the whole crew is not my favorite thing to do I can honestly say that it's not been too bad so far. No breakdowns or crying or anything else that made me feel like we needed to leave immediately so that's always good. No other major progress to report on that front but I'm still hopeful since all my babies have been born within a couple of days of D-day.

Right now I'm desperately trying to clean up the last couple of messes in our bedroom the fourth bedroom and the office. I'd say it's nesting but I've been trying to clean them up for months now and I think it's more like desperation at this point. The reasons why these areas have been neglected so long is because they could be closed off from small children but also because those spaces are really hard to clean with small children present... at all.

The 4th bedroom

We had visitors that spent the night last night and I BARELY managed to get the 4th bedroom under control by the time they got here. But not without absolute heck from Davie and Macy. Seriously yesterday my kids were THE worst. I hate saying that but yesterday it was true. They were all kinds of naughty to each other and all about making cleaning impossible as much as possible. As well as just literally following along behind me and destroying what I had done. ALL DAY LONG. Sometimes I think David worries about having more kids when I have days like that, but all I have to say is I really believe the part that frustrates me so much about days like yesterday is the fact that I know my kids can be SO well-behaved when they want to be. But aren't we all that way? And even more so as adults??

As far as this little gal goes she is a MOVER. Not the constant swishy/re-situaing type movements like my other babies have done but huge and often internally painful movements. There have been many evenings where her constant large movements have given my a tummy ache. Other nights I can watch what has to be one of her limbs move around as if she is trying to escape through my side! The plus side is I've never had to question if she is alive in there. I'm super curious to see what her personality will be like since both of my kids are so independent and busy. After I had Davie my mother-in-law said she didn't want any vanilla grand babies. I tease that Macy is my strawberry flavored baby and Davie is chocolate so I feel like I can have a vanilla baby now haha. A mom can hope!

This is me at 36 weeks and some change watching her try to escape from my stomach. Its extremely strange to watch and feel your entire belly move like that.

Other than that my family comes next Saturday and will be here for my birthday! Yay! And somewhere in all that hopefully we will have another baby girl. So at the end of the day there really isn't much to complain about. Life is good.