I realize how far behind I am on blogging and I wish it wasn't so.
I read a very sweet post on my friend's blog the other day about when she had her daughter and it got me thinking about an experience I had about a week after I had Macy.
One afternoon while my mom was visiting Davie was putting up the usual fight against his nap time while my mom was trying to put him down. For some reason I felt like the last couple days had been extra bad and Davie was resisting nap for almost an hour before he finally gave in. I personally was feeling a little guilty that all I was doing was feeding Macy and rocking her while my 2 year old screamed and cried from the other room. So I told my mom she could have a break while I gave it a go. Davie gets extra busy right before he crashes and that day this was especially true.
So I did what I have always done ever since he was tiny when he gets hysterical. I folded one of his blankys in a triangle swaddled him, cradled him and sat down in the chair in his room.
He struggled as usual, but I managed to get him to calm down a little and then asked him if I should sing some songs. I sang a song or two but Davie's eyes were still wide open so I told him if he wanted me to sing another song he needed to close his eyes. It was a long shot but I figured anything would help at this point. Surprisingly Davie immediately closed his eyes tight and I began to sing some more primary songs, as he would try to open them back up I would stop singing and again tell him to close his eyes and he would.
About that time I got looking at him and all his sweet little features that have changed so much and how big he is and I was trying my best to keep singing without crying profusely. These weren't quite tears either I was trying not to let my chest shake so much it would wake him up, because he had literally gone to sleep in less than five minutes from the first time I told him to close his eyes. This was also when I started laughing because I could not believe how quickly telling him to close his eyes got him to go to sleep. Davie is such a silly boy! So my body is half shaking in laughter and half in tears as my little boy slept in my arms.
I managed to pick him up and set him in bed and he napped very well that day. I was feeling silly for crying and laughing at the same time and didn't really want my mom to see. I don't like feeling as though the emotions I felt were purely related to hormones because this was not the first (or the last) time I have put Davie down to nap and found myself crying once he was asleep.
I love looking at him while he sleeps and watching him grow is such a bittersweet blessing but he will always be MY little baby.
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