Yup, that is today (Sunday). This means I only have 5 weeks left... well until my due date but unless my doctor won't induce me I don't plan on waiting that long :) I am NOT that patient. My ultimate birthday goal for this baby is January 12th, if I have baby on that day then it will be exactly 6 months from mine on June 12th, 7 months from David and I's anniversary on July 12th and 9 months from my Mama's birthday; the 12th is kinda a big deal. Also the 12th would be a cool birthday, 01-12-2012. My better judgement says I'll probably have this baby about the same earliness as I had Colin so more realistically I'm thinking either the 16th or 18th, it just depends on how willing my doctor is. All of the ladies who were within a month or two of me are basically done and having their babies and I am SOOO jealous.
I have gained about the same amount of weight as last time (I was hoping to gain less) but I do feel like I look better this time. I think it is much more in the midsection this time too. Last time my winter coat fit around the belly until I was 9 months + pregnant and this time I am already struggling to zip it up. Honestly I had been wearing David's coats because they are baggy enough that if I were to see one of our neighbors they probably wouldn't notice the baby belly.
Does anyone remember me telling you that dogs, cats and children are NOT ALLOWED in our condo building? Well thus far not a single soul in our building has figured out I am pregnant. I believe the reasons for this are as follows
#1- We don't see our neighbors, and when we do I'm in a coat or in the car, very much in passing.
#2- When we do see our neighbors (once a week or less) there isn't a lot of friendly chit chat, more like awkward hellos it's almost like an "oh yea other people live here too" moment for them.
#3- I wear David's coat and we avoid bringing baby stuff in unless it's dark outside haha.
I wouldn't be totally shocked to find out that some people have figured out I'm pregnant and have just not said anything, mainly because there isn't anything they can do. Since the condo association created thier bylaws for the building in 1987 the fair housing act was passed which means we have every right to live here baby or not. David's and I's new goal is now to try and make it home with baby before anyone realizes it! Haha wouldn't that be funny? Since our families are coming right after we have our baby the neighbors might think the baby is visiting. Plus if they really didn't ever find out I was pregnant they won't think it's mine because as far as they know I wasn't ever pregnant.
Lately I have found myself enjoying other blogs about ladies that are about my age who have lost a baby. I think the reasoning is because even though I can't seem to connect to what is happening to me now I still feel very tender towards what happened with Colin. Not how things are now just the fact that I had to go through it in the first place. It's very much a feeling of having been robbed. While I was pregnant with Colin I knew there was no other way to get around my situation and so I had to just live through every awful day. It's funny because I don't have a single picture of me with him or while I was pregnant with him where I am crying but looking back or reading my journal I know that was all I ever did; for months. My biggest defense last time was to just try and dull my senses so that I could make it through the day and sadly I find myself doing that now too. I wish I could just be more excited but I just think there is a part of me who won't be able to let go until I take this baby home. I haven't been an emotional wreck like a lot of pregnant woman are but I keep warning David that I think the water works will turn on full blast the day we take this kid home.
The other day I watched "The Business of Being Born" and I was surprised how much I cried, EVERY TIME the women in the documentary held their babies for the first time, I cried. I feel like that is the moment I am making myself wait for, its that part of my subconscious that won't let me celebrate until it knows I'm safe. Also if you haven't watched "The Business of Being Born" check it out on Netflix, it's a little graphic but that's birth for ya. It had some really interesting factoids and such in it. I have never been opposed to the idea of having a baby naturally but it is a lot to commit to. After watching it I decided that I think having at least one of my babies naturally is definitely a bucket list goal for me. Last time was obvious why I didn't want to go O-Natural and this time... well I just want to be able to enjoy myself as thoroughly as possible, and if that means I want an epidural, then I am going to have one.
Anyways enough about me lets talk baby stuff! I had my baby shower a couple of weeks ago with some of the ladies here and I took zero pictures, sorry Jess. I had every intention, I brought my camera fully charged had it out & ready to roll and then I didn't take a single picture. I got the regular baby supplies you usually get at a shower and some cute little onsies. I need to take some pictures of the super cute clothes I have slowly been accumulating. Kohl's sent us another $10 off coupon so I used that the other day, only this time I literally spent NOTHING: thank you Kohl's and I still hate you. Our crib now has a mattress and sheets. The other day after setting the mattress in the crib David looked at me and said "You could actually put a baby in there and it could go to sleep," haha I was actually thinking almost the exact same thing; great minds think alike!
4 comments:
Kari you look soo adorable. I seriously hope I look as good as you do! Lately, I'll admit, I've been feeling baby hungry. But its gonna have to wait for a bit. You are amazing, and I look up to you. and I am sorry I don't have much comfort, and I don't fully understand what you are going through, but I am glad that you share it, because it helps those of us understand how you are feeling. I cannot wait for you though! You and David are so amazing, and soon will have the joy of meeting your new baby! Heavenly Father loves you so much, and will be there with you as he was with you with your first child. anyways... I wish i could say more comforting or wise things, but just know you are loved by so many and you have been so successful in life. I love you! :)
To get that baby to come on the 12th you have to do what you did to get prego with him. I never believed people when they told me that, and then I tried it with with Carter, not even 6 hours later, my labor started. TMI, probably, but thought I would share none the less :)
You look amazing! Seriously. I hope I look that good.
PS I want to do a natural birth someday too, but all the rest of that paragraph is exact to me- go figure :).
I can't wait to see you get this baby here!!!! Bring on the water works, I'm sure I'll be crying with you haha.
the 12th really is an awesome day. all 3 of my siblings were born on the 12th. march august and october. between your fam and mine we cover almost all 12 months ;)
can't wait for your baby to come so i can see pictures! so exciting!
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